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SEC Week 8: Watch early games then catch up on your mall time

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Florida is ranked second in the BCS poll and faces once-beaten South Carolina in a critical SEC East Division game. (Source: UF communications) Florida is ranked second in the BCS poll and faces once-beaten South Carolina in a critical SEC East Division game. (Source: UF communications)
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    Monday, September 1 2014 3:41 PM EDT2014-09-01 19:41:18 GMT
    (Source: WSFA 12 News)(Source: WSFA 12 News)
    The Auburn Tigers defeated the Arkansas Razorbacks on Saturday by a score of 45-21 to start the 2014 season. From the way things looked on Saturday, the Auburn offense has not slowed down since 2013. The
    The Auburn Tigers defeated the Arkansas Razorbacks on Saturday by a score of 45-21 to start the 2014 season.
  • What We Learned from the SEC in Week 1

    What We Learned from the SEC in Week 1

    Sunday, August 31 2014 1:51 PM EDT2014-08-31 17:51:41 GMT

    For a while, it looked like the college football world was going to be upended in the first week of play, but it all worked out according to plan in the end.

    For a while, it looked like the college football world was going to be upended in the first week of play, but it all worked out according to plan in the end.

  • No. 6 Auburn runs over Arkansas

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    Saturday, August 30 2014 11:56 PM EDT2014-08-31 03:56:50 GMT
    No. 6 Auburn wasted no time getting into conference play.The reigning Southeastern Conference champion wasted no time getting its first win either after defeating Arkansas 48-24."I'm very proud of our
    No. 6 Auburn wasted no time getting into conference play.The reigning Southeastern Conference champion wasted no time getting its first win either after defeating Arkansas 48-24."I'm very proud of our
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  • Saban wraps up WVU game, previews FAU

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    Monday, September 1 2014 3:59 PM EDT2014-09-01 19:59:01 GMT
    The focus for the second ranked Alabama Crimson Tide heading into their game against Florida-Atlantic is strictly on improving as individual players and as a team as a whole.

    The focus for the second ranked Alabama Crimson Tide heading into their game against Florida-Atlantic is strictly on improving as individual players and as a team as a whole.

  • Karle's Korner: The Crimson Tide's odd couple may just have the last laugh!

    Karle's Korner: The Crimson Tide's odd couple may just have the last laugh!

    Monday, September 1 2014 2:09 PM EDT2014-09-01 18:09:29 GMT
    Perhaps it was the fact that Alabama's new offensive coordinator was coaching from the sideline. Perhaps it was that screen grab with less than two minutes remaining in the first quarter that went viral.
    Perhaps it was the fact that Alabama's new offensive coordinator was coaching from the sideline. Perhaps it was that screen grab with less than two minutes remaining in the first quarter that went viral.
  • What We Learned from the SEC in Week 1

    What We Learned from the SEC in Week 1

    Sunday, August 31 2014 1:51 PM EDT2014-08-31 17:51:41 GMT

    For a while, it looked like the college football world was going to be upended in the first week of play, but it all worked out according to plan in the end.

    For a while, it looked like the college football world was going to be upended in the first week of play, but it all worked out according to plan in the end.

  • South CarolinaMore>>

  • No. 9 South Carolina, No. 16 Clemson lose openers

    No. 9 South Carolina, No. 16 Clemson lose openers

    Sunday, August 31 2014 6:27 PM EDT2014-08-31 22:27:33 GMT
    Dylan Thompson (Source: TheBigSpur.com) Dylan Thompson (Source: TheBigSpur.com)
    COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) - Maybe it's not too early for some Palmetto panic after No. 9 South Carolina and No. 16 Clemson both were blown out on opening weekend. It's the first time in 15 years the Palmetto
     Maybe it's not too early for some Palmetto panic after No. 9 South Carolina and No. 16 Clemson both were blown out on opening weekend. 
  • USC's Mike Davis doubtful for ECU

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    Sunday, August 31 2014 3:14 PM EDT2014-08-31 19:14:00 GMT
    Mike Davis Mike Davis
    COLUMBIA, SC (TheBigSpur.com) - South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier said during his Sunday teleconference that running back Mike Davis is doubtful for Saturday night's game against East Carolina. Davis
    COLUMBIA, SC (TheBigSpur.com) - South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier said during his Sunday teleconference that running back Mike Davis is doubtful for Saturday night's game against East Carolina. Davis
  • What We Learned from the SEC in Week 1

    What We Learned from the SEC in Week 1

    Sunday, August 31 2014 1:51 PM EDT2014-08-31 17:51:41 GMT

    For a while, it looked like the college football world was going to be upended in the first week of play, but it all worked out according to plan in the end.

    For a while, it looked like the college football world was going to be upended in the first week of play, but it all worked out according to plan in the end.

(RNN) - Division races are tightening up and a few important games dot the SEC landscape, but this week might be one of the last opportunities for TV football addicts to participate in real life before things get extreme.

All times Eastern:

LSU at Texas A&M, Noon, ESPN

Last week, LSU was like the apparently deceased serial killer in the midnight horror film: lying there motionless, not breathing, moonlight glinting off the hockey mask when BOOM!

His eyes fly open, he sits bolt upright, swings his machete and whoosh! South Carolina's head goes, thunk, thunk, thunk down the scary hallway.

Now, the Tigers have crawled back into the BCS hunt, ranked No. 6 in the nation, and they're creeping up the darkened stairway in a spooky old College Station mansion and behind the squeaky door there's… AAAH! Johnny Football! Wearing a horizontally striped No. 2 Texas A&M jersey, face all gnarly and burn-scarred and he's cackling as he waves his razor-blade fingers. Cue the Psycho music:

Scree, Scree, Scree!

All extended metaphors aside, this may be the best game ever to kick off before lunch.

Auburn at Vanderbilt, Noon, SEC Network

Juniors on this Auburn team who celebrated a national championship two years ago will get off the bus in Nashville as a 7-point underdog to Vanderbilt.

I have no explanation, but life's crazy, isn't it?

Vanderbilt has just two wins and Auburn has one this season, but Vanderbilt looked better getting hammered by Florida last week than Auburn did falling apart against Ole Miss.

Auburn is a solid 117th in the nation in scoring, and the Tigers are the worst fourth-quarter team in the nation unless there's one that hasn't scored at all - they have managed a field goal while giving up 62 points in the fourth period. Vanderbilt is 109th in scoring and… sorry, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Don't watch this game. Go to the mall. Get some ice cream, buy sneakers, go to the pet store and look at the puppies. Happy things are at the mall. This game is a sad thing.

South Carolina at Florida 3:30 p.m., CBS

After last week's hard-fought loss at Baton Rouge, South Carolina can keep hope alive by cruising into Gainesville and clocking the high-ranked Gators. They could also throw the SEC East race into a who-beat-who daisy chain of mind-boggling possibilities regarding which team might yet fight its way to a gore-spattered SEC Championship Game rendezvous with the spinning circle saw that is Alabama (unless the Tide loses to LSU, or Mississippi State or somebody).

USC and the Gators are lot alike if you think about it. Good defense, good running game, solid quarterbacks, a kicking game that'll get you there. And South Carolina is a 3-point underdog, just like last week against LSU.

You'll probably want to come back from the mall in time to watch this one.

Georgia Bulldogs at Kentucky Wildcats 7 p.m., FSN

The bipolar Bulldogs face the woeful Wildcats.

Back to the mall, and step on it, because you will also want to ignore:

Alabama at Tennessee 7 p.m., ESPN

The once-fevered hatred that flowed between Alabama and Tennessee is but a memory. Here's the back story for the uninformed youth of today.

A long time ago, Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer turned Alabama in for cheating and Alabama got on probation. This made Alabama fans very mad because their team was awful for a long span of misery.

Alabama fans screamed in the streets, overturned burning cars and swore in the general direction of Tennessee every time the Crimson Tide lost, which was often. Alabama lost to Tennessee every year for 1,000 years and generations of Bama fans wept, sacrificed goats to the dark gods and prayed that one day the bitter cup would pass.

Then Alabama hired Nick Saban and became an indomitable force of irrefutable omnipotence. Fulmer got fired.

So long story short, here we are in the present and it's like, the brothers are lounging around the frat house in Tuscaloosa, and one says, "We play Tennessee this week, right?" And the other says, "Let me check," and he does something with his iPhone and goes, "Yeah, Tennessee it is." So the first one goes, "OK, I hope we win." And the other guy responds, "Want to order a pizza?"

Last week at Mississippi State, Tennessee did what it does, which is hang around for a while then lose. And Alabama did what it does to Missouri, which is destroy everything in its path and leave behind smoking ruins and cries of lamentation.

More of the same is likely.

Middle Tennessee at Mississippi State, 7 p.m., ESPN2

Stay at the mall until it closes, then remain in the parking lot until the police make you leave, then drive around a while just to make sure you don't get home in time to see this one.

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